(dress/bow: forever 21; blazer: vintage; belt/lace top: thrifted; tights: tjmaxx; shoes: seychelles)
I've been feeling too safe lately. Every once and a while I stumble upon a blog or a film or a story that reinforces this feeling of stasis and I feel swollen, waterlogged. Today it was this blog, which I would like to read front-to-back through the archives like a novel that I can't put down. It's not enough to live vicariously anymore. I want to be pushed to my outer limits, to be stretched and pulled and spread thin along my lifeline, but I keep waiting for some external force to kickstart my great adventure and getting backed up in the same spot over and over again. That external force only exists in the movies, where conflict is the catalyst for change. In real life the catalyst has to come from some internal rumblings, and those are too easily dismissed, too easily dampered and too easily tamed (the absence of conflict can be a curse). This weekend, my brother and I were discussing how unfortunate it is that the simplest desires seem like the most difficult to achieve. We know that we could rise to the top of the capitalist circus if we worked hard and applied ourselves, making money and paying off loans and buying and using and discarding, but to duck out for a while and roam around the world and forget what day it is or what time and eventually settle down in a small homestead in the country somewhere--that is harder to do. Once on a certain track, you have to make money and save and slog through several years before that way of life can unfold for you. And isn't that unfair? Maybe this is me just getting in my own way, but I know I couldn't make this life happen for myself right now... and that's a bummer.
Yeahhhhh, so apologies for dumping my innerworkings on you day in and day out. Maybe when the sun starts shining I'll shift my tone away from this minor chord. How do you shake things up? What keeps you from feeling too safe in your daily life? Or do you prefer the security of a regular routine?
I am trying the same thing, start dressing for spring and it will come. Very cute look, I love that dress, it's so springy.
ReplyDeleteI like to have a schedule in my everyday life (school etc), but I would love to just travel with no plans for months and months on end.
xJennaD
That blog you linked is incredible. Now I want to travel so badly it hurts. I would love to go to India, but my boyfriend isn't much for third world countries. That's why I'm going to school in London, to effectively leap out of my comfort zone and try to have my own adventure. It's such an amazing feeling that I'm actually working to make my life what I want it to be.
ReplyDeleteRoutine is a killer. I am corporate slogging in hopes of future travel. At least the anticipiation keeps me from accumulating trinkets that won't fit suitcases.
ReplyDeleteYou look gorgeous - aodrable dress! :)
i sure hope mother nature takes note of your spring dress and realizes that sunshine is needed now! I know how you feel, we have to run this rat race before we can retire and have free time and travel and what not. For me leaping out of my comfort zone was moving from TX to NY 9 years ago...you could work from anywhere most likely, why not try and move to a new town, state, country? I had a friend who moved to Scotland for 6 months on a work visa. Best thing she ever did for herself
ReplyDeleteOh man, I canNOT tell you how much I identify with this. I feel lately like I've been stuck between action and inaction, and I can't figure out quite how to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI think it's easy to fetishize travel a bit sometimes. Travel doesn't guarantee adventure, nor does living abroad. It's perfectly possible to go around doing absolutely nothing all day in a fascinating place, and equally possible to have every adventure your hometown may offer (and create a few where none were). Is travel something you want to do because you want to have adventures, or something you want to do for its own sake?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know you've said you'd rather travel around constantly than live and work in a place, but that can be a happy medium. You see a side of a location (hopefully) that you wouldn't otherwise see, and it does solve some of the financial troubles. Or, for instance, you can go teach English for a year in a country that pays quite well (Korea, Japan, though maybe not Japan at the moment) and with the money you save fund a sixth month backpacking trip, etc.
On an entirely different note, I love how you tend to follow sweater Mondays with glam Tuesdays, and I'm digging the blue hair bow!
So your blog is one of my new favorites...I love your style! The floral dress is really gorgeous and paired with the blazer and tights is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that the simpler life is something much harder to achieve. The world values people who go after the big time and when you don't do that, it's like your fighting against everything you've ever learned was the right way to live.